BEHOLD, NIGERIA’S SHORTEST COMEDIAN!

 ‘MEN FIND ME IRRESISTIBLE’ 

The first thing that strikes you about Rita Ayim is her size. At less than a foot tall, she is nothing short of a micro midget! And guess what, in spite of her pint size; she has a gargantuan dream. She wants to be an international dancer cum comedian!

Last weekend, Rita held guests spell bound with her performance after she gate crashed into the Julius Agwu’s Crack Ya Ribs comedy show held at Transcorp Hilton in Abuja.

Guests were blown away in the sold out show as they stood on their seats to catch a glimpse of Rita who took to the stage and thrilled with jokes and a high dose of Azonto dance steps. In fact, so diminutive was Rita that Agwu instructed the engineers to switch off the smoke machine so people could see the wonder on stage.

As I made my way to hook up with her after her performance, I was still dazed and in awe at the little package that had held the entire venue spellbound. Obviously realizing that I was gaping at her, she had fired the first shot: “Is your wife as tall as I am? Or is your baby as big as I am?” We both shared a healthy laugh as I shook hands with the Nigeria’s shortest comedian/dancer. Welcome to the world of Rita Ayim…

The beginning

For 33-year-old Rita, right from childhood, it had always been her dream to be a comedian and dancer. She revealed that as early as her primary school days, she has always had a passion for the arts: “Acting has always been my dream. It all began as a student when I was in secondary school. I used to perform in school. During the break or when our teachers were not around, in order to keep busy we resorted to acting to while away time. That was how I started.”

Rita is a sheer wonder to behold. In fact, if you’re not vigilant, you could step on her without realising it yet she exudes so much confidence you’d think she was a diva. From where does she get her confidence?

“It’s God. When I started comedy and dancing I had a firm belief in my skills that I could make it. After I finished secondary school at the age of 24, I took it more seriously and anytime there was a show, I performed. I earned N12, 000 for my first performance; that was four years ago and ever since I have not looked back.”

Growing up

Born to a family of six, Rita is the last child. She talks about growing up: “I was born in Calabar. That’s where my father built his house. We were six; three boys and three girls. I was the last child. Growing up was fun but at a very tender age I started doing things for myself. I was into recharge card business after I finished secondary school and initially, my business was moving smoothly.”

However, after a while, Rita says she hit a bad patch as her business crashed because customers were not paying up. So bad was the experience that she decided to relocate from Calabar. Recalling the sad experience she said: “I was making money from my recharge card business. I had a lot of customers. People just liked patronizing me. However, along the line people started buying on credit and wouldn’t pay. I would start chasing them all over for my money and that was the beginning of my problems. I was really stressed up by the experience.

“Eventually my business parked up. I was so frustrated I decided to leave Calabar. I woke up one morning and said,

‘mum, dad, I am leaving for Makurdi to hustle’. They were surprised but they couldn’t stop me. I wanted to go out and see the world. That was how I came to Makurdi and discovered my talent.”

Why did she choose Makurdi and not Lagos or Abuja?

The comedian smiles as she responds: “Makurdi has always been very close to my heart. I had seen the town on TV and read articles about it in papers and so I just decided to give it a try.”

Today, four years later, Rita says she is happy with her decision, as she is able to send money back home for her parents’ up keep. “Today, they are very happy and supportive. Now they are older and not as strong as they used to be, so I regularly send them money for their upkeep. My father is a retired teacher,” she says with pride.

Matters of the heart

Rita says she doesn’t have a boyfriend for now because most men are natural born cheaters. However, when she finally meets her ideal man, she looks forward to settling down: “I don’t have a boyfriend for now. As a woman you must have experiences. When men approach you as a lady, you should be able to tell if the man actually loves you. A lot of boys come to me and say ‘Rita, how far? Which day would you come to know my house’ and I tell them to ‘lay off!’ These boys just want to sleep with me and dump me so I don’t listen to them. They want to have access to me and then abandon me. That’s the reason I don’t want to have a boyfriend for now.”

Could it be that the reason she doesn’t have a boy friend is that men don’t ask her out?

 Rita laughs out loudly as she responds waving her hands: “No, there are millions of them approaching me because of my beauty and height but I have decided to stick to myself for now until I find one who truly loves me. Any man who wants to sleep me must first pay my bride price.”

Ideal man

According to Rita, she is not going to compromise her standards as far as her dream man is concerned. She says her ideal man must meet certain qualities. “He must be caring, loving and handsome. He should have good qualities to maintain a loving wife. I love tall guys like you,” she adds pointing at me as we both share another laugh.

Challenges

For Rita, it’s not been easy working as a midget comedian/dancer. According to her, she has been rejected, ridiculed, called names and even threatened with ritual murder on many occasions. “I have faced many challenges in life. Some people don’t even want to shake me. People have insulted me by calling me all sorts of names saying that people will kidnap me and use me for money rituals,” she says adding, “these things make me afraid and ashamed of myself and sometimes I lose the courage to do the things I have to do. But I know that God is with me and I will make it.”

Is she making money from comedy, is it paying her bills?  “Yes a little but it could be better,” Rita volunteers.

Advice

Rita has an advice for midgets like her. She says that they should be courageous and hold up their chins whatever situation they find themselves: “They should have courage and confidence and also trust in God no matter what people do or say. God will surely make a way for them.”

Dreams

“My dream is to make it as an international dancer and comedian. I want to be the voice for the physically challenged. I want them to know that being challenged is not a death sentence. You can still live your life to the fullest. I also want to be the ambassador for the physically challenged; I want them to know that nothing can stop them from achieving their dreams if they stay focused and prayerful.”